Ugh. Old-person-reunion sex. Seriously, keep your scraggly bits to yourself.

 

Swiping, it seems, is passé. Harvard has unveiled a new ID card which unlocks door when the card is simply placed near it.

 

"No swiping?!" Yes, this all sounds wonderful and miraculous... until you remember where most people keep their cards: oh, hey, their back pockets. This inevitably results in an awkward butt bumping motion because the ID o...

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Apparently Harvard is where aging rockstars go to retire once they become culturally irrelevant. Following in the footsteps of Weezer's Rivers Cuomo, Mike Einziger of Incubus will be joining the Class of 2012 in some capacity.

 

No word yet on whether he will actually be physically on campus or whether he's pulling a Hillary Duff Extension Schoo...

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It seems multi-generational streaks of elite privilege are being disrupted in Manhattan, where even previously entitled Spence girls and Collegiate boys are feeling the wrath of Harvard's 7% admissions hammer.

 

Like, not even one Dalton kid got into Harvard this year!  $400,000 (after taxes!) on a K-12 education and its A- students were totally...

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Because the only thing more terrifying than a zombie is a really smart zombie, Hollywood is green-lighting the horror flick The Harvard Zombie Massacre.

While details remain sketchy, the film will be produced by Warren Zide, the man who financially backed American Pie.

Which man from down under confused life with a Meg Ryan movie gone awry?

The dim-witted would-be casanova thought a sweeping gesture would be just the trick when it came to wooing an ex-girlfriend. Rather than, say, buy her dozens of roses or give her mad jewelry, the Aussie had her name tattooed over an anchor. Because anchors are like, you k

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The "Vanity Fair of Harvard" seems to be just one affected gasp from going under.

Atlantic Media Company, which publishes such legitimately reputable magazines as  The Atlantic Monthly and  The National Journal, has decided to rid itself of its silliest magazine, 02138.

The magazine has been sold to a small New York publishing company that pu

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Hanging out by the Crimson (and by default, the Kong) late at night is no longer safe. During reading period, a male undergraduate was absolutely pummeled by three large dudes, after supposedly kicking a car that honked at him.

First the "wire around the neck" story, and now this? Seems those town-gown relationships need a little bit of work.

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All the pit kids will be shepherded indoors tomorrow: White Williams will be playing a free show at the Harvard Square Urban Outfitters.

Wear sunglasses! We anticipated that the surfeit of gold lamé will be blinding.

In other news, Boston is considered to be "Elsewhere," according to the Urban Outfitters website. This means that it ranks below

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"I'm like a construction worker of the mind."

Ah, exam period.