Harvard gravely suffered after losing $350 million through an investment in a hedge fund yesterday, leaving the endowment at the trifling sum of $29 billion.

Red alert, Janice. Whatever shall we do?

President Drew Gilpin Faust was unavailable for comment, as she was likely taking her daily cash bath.

Former President Larry Summers presumably

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Natalie Portman '03 has spoiled absolutely everything by revealing that she used a body double in the nude torture scenes of the recently released Goya's Ghost. And by "spoiled absolutely everything," I mean she's foiled my attempts to post dirty pictures of her on this site.

Portman says "there's a long shot of a nude woman, but it's not me."

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Immature: 19-year-olds quivering with anticipation over the release of a book meant for 7-year-olds.

More immature: 19-year-olds relentlessly taunting 7-year-olds waiting for said book.

Most immature: AIDS jokes. Ha. Ha.

High five, Cambridge scenester trash! You succeeded in being totally ironic in an Alanis Morissette sort of way. Now that w

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Supposedly hasty judgment is a first step to recantation.

Whatever.

Just because Undergraduate Council Vice President Matt Sundquist '09 actually had the not totally half-baked idea of hooking students up with discount cards doesn't mean I'm not opting out of the UC fee.

I'm just going to save more money... ka-ching!

A letter to local bus

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$75 can buy a lot: 153 cans of Natty Lite, 22 Felipe's burritos, or one cufflink at J. Press. That money is better spent on any of those three things than on lining the pockets of the Undergraduate Council.

Apparently, the UC realizes this. And they're scared shitless.

In an attempt to prevent students from opting out of the $75 Undergraduate

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