Trying to teach the kid I tutor geometry is like trying to teach my pet rock to play Dance Dance Revolution. It just isn’t going to happen, and even if it did some Asian kid is going to be way better than him anyway.  By the way, yes, I do have a pet rock, and his name is “Mittens.” But I digress; the issue to be addressed here is the massive e

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Today I would like to present a short study titled, “A Critical Self-Evaluation of My Sexual Behavior as it relates to My Alcohol Consumption.”

The purpose of this flowchart is to present the reasoning behind my varied responses to sexual advances.

Factors considered include: hotness of girl, amount of alcohol consumed, and DPC (Degree of Pi

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From the State News Actual Caption: A concerned resident dumps a pot of water in a flaming Dumpster that was on fire at Americana Apartments, 1128 Victor St. The fire was reported at 2:09 a.m. Sunday. Should Read: Fire = bad, fire + water = good… wait, why isn’t this working???

I attended the University of Michigan for 4 years and only twice

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