Your new best friend

While we may not have the hottest party scene around, Claremont students can certainly get their drink on. At most schools, serious drinkers will graduate with a serious MIP record.

Not here. Although alcohol enforcement does exist, there's no police on campus to get you in serious trouble. And to avoid any school sanctio

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The weather at the beginning of the school year in Claremont is borderline hellish -- especially if you're one of the football players that collapsed from the heat and got an ambulance ride to boot.

If you don't feel like waiting a couple weeks for it to pass, you should be sneaking into the pool as often as possible. The worst they'll do to yo

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Claremont's not like other college towns.

While they've got all those burger joints, gyro stands, and taco buses that stay open long into the night, we've got very few choices after the on-campus spots close their doors. However, there are a few choice spots that still will cure your munchies at indecent hours.

Mix Bowl Cafe is amazing - most

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It seems like the most popular liesure activity in Claremont is hating on other schools. In that spirit, here's some overheard quotes that do nothing to dispell these stereotypes. Match the quote to the school. It's the easiest game ever!

Guy 1: Okay, what's the atomic number for ... europium.
Guy 2: That's not fair, man! You have to name one

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Good thing that medical marijuana dispensary is coming soon -- in the meantime, senior citizens have been taking the matter into their own hands.

Besides the usual Inland Empire petty crime, the past few days have seen a spate of drug busts involving local old people. The police even called in a SWAT team on one geriatric.

Yale HATES shotgun weddings.
When you pay 45 grand a year to go to camp school, you gotta expect to run into people with a ridiculous sense of entitlement...

Uppity Chick at the Senate Office Hours: "...but everyone at Yale gets a free abortion every year!!"

She's right! We'll never make doucebaggy east coast school status if we don't start s

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Aw tits awesome sweet guys we're so ironic that it's cool!!

We've sure got a swell crop of freshmen this year, judging by their discussions on Facebook. They've got all sorts of neat-o ideas to make our schools even keener.

For example, they've already made plans to launch a Muggle Quidditch Team.

And yes, they're very serious.

I don't thin

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It burns, doesn't it?

Every time one of your state school friends tells another story about the crazy bars they got kicked out of or the insane nightclubs open till 3 a.m., you feel that unmistakable burning sensation: envy mixed with shame.

Because you know that at your school, the hottest cultural beacon is the local scrapbooking supply stor...

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Pomona freshmen gender-neutral first years, probably the first thing your sponsors told you was that the worst crime you can commit is SPONCEST - hooking up with someone in your own hall. "Well," they said to you, "as long as its a drunken hookup, it's okay. Just no relationships or serious stuff."

Welcome to your sex life for the next four yea

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We return to part twelve of our vitally important series on campus grub, where you learn very little about this most important part of your whole college career.

Pitzer - Coming here for lunch feels like a martyr's paradise -- acres of delicacies, but with a grueling walk (and unless you swoop in fast, a decided lack of your 72 virgins). Any ot

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