Ah ASU, the money tree that keeps on givin'! This time there's no specific names of trusted people to give a lynching, but one promising target is the unnamed ASU research prof who "used his university-issued card in 2005 to furnish his home for $10,320. He bought... furniture, dishes, and an expresso machine."

He probably tried to put some hookers and coke on plastic too, but they didn't know what the **** a p-card was, so yeah, those purchases had to go on Visa.

In response to the misuse by that asshat and other employees, ASU has since put together some hard hitting balla measures to counter theft, such as "requiring employees to take an online exam about p-card rules." ZOMG I TOOK A MULTIPLE-CHOICE TEST AND AM NOW INCAPABLE OF DISHONESTY!!!

So come fall semester, if you're wondering how a few legit 'tards in your classes got accepted to ASU, just know that there are some extra bills to be paid these days.