Desperation forces loveless students to do many strange, sad things, including journeying into the dregs of society (READ: MySpace) with nothing more than a fool’s hope of finding romance.

You haven’t truly hit rock bottom, however, until you try your hand at speed dating.

Last night, thirty-two Harvard singles scrapped the bottom of the proverbial barrel when they gathered at the Democracy Center to engage in 3-minute rounds of speed dating. The results were decidedly mixed – but yet, unequivocally embarrassing.

The Crimson reports:

Despite a few glitches—some went on multiple dates with the same person—and a few awkward moments, most of the participants said that night was an enjoyable novelty.

“Dating is nonexistent here.” said speed-dater Arian N. Razzaghi ’12. “So these little activities will definitely help.”

The event offered Harvard students—often accused of belonging to either the hook-up culture or the married camp—the opportunity to mingle in a low-risk environment with other single students.

Yeah, it is “low-risk” – but only if one considers their self-esteem to be expendable, the collateral damage in a cold war for affection.

Of course, one might argue that online dating is worse, because it lacks the personal touch of face-to-face interaction.

But, seriously, are three whole minutes of superficial small talk really much better? [No.]