On October 26th, Senator John McCain joined Tom Brokaw on Meet the Press to discuss his current standing in the poll among other topics. In the interview, Senator McCain strongly disagreed with the polls insisting that people cheering at his rallies means he's closer than we all think. Later on in the interview he said with confidence, "...I guarantee you that two weeks from now you will see, this has been a very close race, and I believe that I'm gonna win it." This has since led the American public wondering what secret weapon the McCain campaign has been hiding that will suddenly turn this election around in favor of the political party endorsed by God.

The public need look no further as the top secret plans have been leaked to the press this morning.

Senator McCain, a self described film buff, stole his diabolical plan from the plot of Batman Begins. The plan involves putting a hallucinogenic drug in the water supply of every major city of the battleground states where the Senator is losing in the polls he doesn't believe in. They will then use a microwave emitter - also from the film - to vaporize the water on election day as Americans make their way to the polls. The drug in the water will cause even the most flamboyantly liberal, sodomite to change political ideologies and vote for Senator McCain. Once they snap out of the drug's spell, they will think they voted for Obama, so when the Democrat loses, there will be no outcry from the American public that there was some sort of vote tampering conspiracy.

Bravo, Senator. Bravo.