Today, from 3:20-3:30 pm, the Binghamton University Alert Line had its first official test. To all of our delight, it sounded like some futuristic summoning from God rather than an emergency notification system. A creepy monotone man’s voice hailed through various speakers of campus. “Alert, Alert,” it said repeatedly, and then urged us to take cover. It would finish off with some sort of beeping that resembled a scale that I’m pretty sure I used to play in middle school band, perhaps b flat? I felt like I should be dancing rather than running for cover. Anyway, this test went on for a solid ten minutes. Many unaware students were clearly disturbed by this previously announced test (Although, who actually reads the B-Line?) While the unseen voice assured us that there was currently no actual emergency, my roommate came stumbling into the room right in the midst of the drill, dazed and disgruntled, and no, she wasn’t high.
 

In the words of my darling roommate: “I felt like I was in the movie Silent Hill, and I thought that all the sun was going to leak out of the sky and darkness would overcome us, a nuclear cloud forever resting over Binghamton.” And no, she still isn’t high.