College students are, as a group, some of the most screwed-over-financially people on the planet. We have debts, loans, and crappy part-time jobs, all while trying to pay for beer, tuition, iPods, beer, frat fees, books, housing, beer, parties, and beer. So the next time you need money from your fellow (broke) college friends, whether it be for your frat party, indie horror film, humanitarian project, or roommate's 21st birthday, follow my tried-and-true recipe for success. 

Ingredients

1. Booze: Ask local stores, Mom and Dad, and all your friends to donate wine, beer, and liquors for your party. If they all give $20, or even just the half-used bottles they don't need, you will have plenty. Then sell the booze for $1 each in small, economical cups.

2. Bands: Find four or five popular local bands and ask them to play in exchange for free booze and/or publicity. If all else fails, have your roommate's lame garage band play.

3. Silent Auction: Go through Mom's basement and find all the crap you should have put in a garage sale but never did. Box them up and set them up at your party as a silent auction, asking $2-3 for each item.

4. Raffle Items: Solicit local restaurants, bars, and coffeehouses for gift cards, or ask a local music store or masseuse for gift certificates. Buy or print some cheap tickets and raffle them off for a dollar each.

5. Location: Use your powers of persuasion to convince a local business owner to keep his restaurant open late for free, in exchange for providing hundreds of hungry people who will buy food at his store.

Mixing Instructions

Pick a date and publicize your event through Facebook Events, flyers, and posters. Also send your friends random MySpace bulletins threatening never to speak to them again if they don't show.

Use posters and pretty colored markers to decorate your event. Add party lights, slinky dress, and booze. Set aside an area for silent auction and display items. Set up booth for admission, raffle tickets, and drink tickets. Mingle with guests and use slinky dress to attract strangers to silent auction and ask them to make a bid. Most guys will pay 3 bucks even for junk when asked by a pretty girl in a dress.

Dance and drink the night away. Enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Yield: $400-800. Results may vary.