Okay kiddies, in case you were wondering about that notorious cast of characters comprised of F-List stars, footage of The Hills’ favorite sidekick Audrina Partridge with her sister Casey Partridge can serve as an admirable learning tool. While you all may be well aware of what a D-List star looks like from watching Kathy Griffin or what E-List stars are like from observing MTV’s stable of Californian reality TV-ers such as Whitney Port and the perpetually vacant-expressioned Audrina Partridge, the F-List star is a breed all its own.

The F-List star is not merely famous by association but famous by association with someone famous by association with a kind of famous person. For example, stylist and George Washington University alum Rachel Zoe gained name recognition after turning then-mediocre celebutante Nicole Richie into a legitimate celebutante. Now, she has her own Bravo television show which includes appearances by her assistants Taylor and Brad. Taylor and Brad would be F-Listers.

So what does an F-Lister need? An F-Lister first and foremost requires the afore-mentioned connection to a connection of a sort-of famous person. Keep up, stupid! Then, they need a standout accessory to aid in drawing attention to themselves in the presence of the better-known E-Listers or even D-Listers. See the Buddy Holly glasses on Brad? Standout accessory. See the climactically inappropriate and gratuitous wool hat inexplicably worn by Casey Partridge with her bathing suit? Standout accessory. Finally, the F-Lister must conflate his or her identity somehow with a bodily orifice. For Brad it’s been branding himself as an ripper of so many ****s (check out the E! video above), while for Casey Partridge it’s been staying slim after popping a bun out of the oven. Ooo eee.

Now that you’ve passed F-List 101, you too can become an F-List “star.” Maybe you’re just a college student, but this is what the American Dream is all about: being able to become kind of a little famous with frivolous hats and mention of bodily cavities.