Apparently, Bart Simpson is a scientologist. How do I know? Well, the woman who does his voice, Nancy Cartwright, put out an automated phone message where she uses Bart’s voice to get Scientologists to come to an event. I’m sure the Simpson’s creators are thrilled.

The Simpsons? Is that the biggest draw Scientology can muster? Man, talk about stuck in the past. Plus, if you’re going to get somebody to promote an event it’s gotta be either Duff Man or Disco Stu, right? This would have been right in Phil Hartman’s wheelhouse with good ol' Troy McClure.

But the guys who do their voices aren’t crazy Scientologists. Nancy Cartwright is. As it turns out, she has donated over $10 million to the church in the past couple of years. Now, that’s what I call a dedicated member. Seriously, does she really have that kind of money to just give away to a faux religion? What the hell am I doing on here? I know celebrities get nice bank for doing voice-over work, but seriously? Time to work out the pipes.
 

Now, before you start freaking about Scientology, the automated call wasn’t used to convert people, (though, how funny would that be); it was merely a message about an upcoming event for Scientologists. That being said, Simpson’s’ executive producer Al Jean is distancing himself and the show from this mess. Speaking to reporters, he said, “This is not authorized by us. The Simpson’s does not, and never has, endorsed any religion, philosophy or system of beliefs any more profound than Butterfinger bars.” Bravo! Scientology is just weird.
 

And say what you want about the profoundness of Butterfinger bars (I got curious and did a Google search for "Butterfinger + Scientology," but just got more links to this story.) but I’ve gotta say that they have a right to get pissed. If I ever get off my ass and create something that people like, I would get a little aggravated if my employees use it to convert people to Islam when I’m not looking. I’m pretty sure Bill Watterson isn’t thrilled about seeing stickers of Calvin pissing all over whatever somebody thinks sucks. I have read virtually every Calvin and Hobbes comic strips and not once have I known him to dish out the golden showers so freely. Of course, he was six, so maybe he’s turning into a disturbing character later in life.

As long as they don’t get to Disco Stu, I guess I’m fine, though... for now.