There are things that happen in movies that just don’t happen in real life, like an insanely beautiful assassin woman such as Angelina Jolie having sex with an average guy like James McAvoy in Wanted (unless the average guy is a musician, that is, in which case he can be horrifically gross.) Another of those great cinematic phenomena is inanimate objects acting like people, and so we’ve compiled for you the Best Personified Inanimate Object Characters from Aqua Teen Hunger Force to Aladdin’s Magic Carpet.

Cogsworth, Lumiere, Mrs. Pot and all those other housewares from Beauty and the Beast deserve a spot on the list if only because I wish that my clock, candles, and teapot would provide me with a dinnertime cabaret a la "Be Our Guest."

So far as anthropomorphized inanimate objects, Thomas the Tank Engine is a bit of a pansy, but the fact that he hangs out with Ringo Starr makes up for him being a big wussy train.

The Brave Little Toaster wants so badly to make lightly browned and warmed bread for his master, he journeys through the wilderness with his band of appliance friends. I don’t think I’m alone in finding that level of dedication impressive!

It’s difficult not to envy Pocahontas for her wise, advise-dispensing talking tree. She’s like a grandma that can’t follow you around the house nagging, i.e. the best of both worlds.

Alright, this is a bit of a stretch, but that Spellbook in Hocus Pocus with the eye is pretty much a person and has the goods to do a whole lot of damage. One could call the Spellbook a worthy adversary.

The singing Flowers in Alice in Wonderland are a little bit like creepy sorority girls, but then again, the whole movie is creepy. And they’re not as bad as those Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee dweebs.

The Magic Mirror from Snow White is brutally honest and is all about speaking in rhymes. I kind of think of him as the Jay-Z of fairy tales.

I realize that the Fat Lady in the Portrait from Harry Potter is a depiction of a human being, but I doubt you know any paintings that speak.

The Disney movie Cars kind of sucked, but with a cast of cars voiced by actors of the caliber of Owen Wilson, Michael Keaton, and Paul Newman, you’ve got to accept a couple of boring bits (or hours.)

Alright, so I don’t actually know what the deal is with the Veggie Tales, but I do know that when I was a kid I would’ve been a lot more likely to eat my vegetables if they’d smiled at me, if only to get their stupid vegetable faces out of sight.

Master Shake, Frylock, and Meatwad have got to be the best trio of crime-solving food items ever to grace the small screen. And what could be more ingenious for stoner seduction than combining fast food and offbeat humor?

Probably the best couple of all time has got to be Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper from Blue’s Clues. Never has a pair so perfectly complemented each other, though PB &J is a close second.

Not only is Toad the most endearing character from Super Mario Brothers, he also doesn’t laugh like a stereotypically Italian lunatic like some other characters. I won’t mention names.

I wish that every time I swept that Pauk Dukas’s “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” would play, but maybe only the Brooms in Fantasia shake their tail feathers to classical music.

Sure the Magic Carpet in Aladdin has to pantomime with tassels instead of hands, but we all know that the “Whole New World” song and makeout session would not have happened without one flying rug.

The weirdo possessed house in Monster House even has its own creepy Latin name: domus mactibilis. Possessed by the spirit of a child-hating ex-circus performer, the Monster House is pretty much the antithesis of family values.

On Bear in the Big Blue House, Luna the moon is a great listener. If the moon would listen to me like that, I’d save hundreds on the therapy I require to work through my personified inanimate object fixation.