Remember when text-to-speech machines all sounded like Stephen Hawking? Yeah, well those days have come and gone, because Ivona text-to-speech is here, and honestly, it's pretty damn good. Sure we're not into like Star Trek computer realism, but it's certainly a step forward.

The website is here, and you can make a guy or girl say all sort of hilarious things. And no, I don't believe there is a swear filter. You can even download and record the messages so you can leave your friend a hilarious voicemail or two. 

Now all they need is a 3-D talking head and phone sex will be completely obsolete, so long as you have a good imagination and creative writing skills.