Yeah it sucks, but it’s that time of year again: New Year’s. Another year, another annoying jab at breaking bad habits or starting up new ones. But self-reflection gets really boring, and it’s hard. So let’s take a guess at some Celebrity New Year’s Resolutions for 2009.

Sarah Palin: In 2009, you betcha I’ll get that unmarried daughter of mine sterilized. Or married.

Mary-Kate Olsen: In 2009, I won’t kill Heath Ledger in a drug overdose. I mean…

Rod Blagojevich: In 2009, I won’t try to sell senate seats. Well at least I won’t if I’m in jail.

John McCain: In 2009, I’ll stay away from that Joe the Plumber character.

Barack Obama: In 2009, I won’t pal around with terrorists.

Miley Cyrus: In 2009, I won’t get tricked into posing semi-nude by dastardly bill-evading Vanity Fair photographers like Annie Leibovitz.

Jennifer Aniston: In 2009, I will speak my mind more about things that are really uncool.