Colbert's DNA Shot Into Space and 10 Other Celebs Whose Genes Should Repopulate Earth

Northwestern alum Stephen Colbert is heading to space. Well, not actually Stephen Colbert, but his DNA at least.
 

Video game designer Richard Garriott will bring a digitized version of the comedian’s DNA to the International Space Station for a time capsule of human DNA. Why not, right? Garriott’s project, called the “Immortality Drive,” is looking to create a history of humanity’s greatest achievements and personal messages. The AP gives us all the truthiness:

The host of "The Colbert Report" will essentially be preserved so that aliens can clone him.

"In the unlikely event that Earth and humanity are destroyed, mankind can be resurrected with Stephen Colbert's DNA," Garriott said in a statement. "Is there a better person for us to turn to for this high-level responsibility?"

No, there is no better person to repopulate the earth. But whose DNA should be there alongside the people’s presidential candidate? Here are 10 other well-known people to give humanity a kick-start if ever the Earth were to become a dark, desolate wasteland:
 

1. Michael Phelps: The God of All Things Athletic will ensure that the new species of humans will have the body of a dolphin, the ears of an elephant and the adoration of the entire universe.
 

2. Sarah Palin: She’ll make sure politics never make sense, which is exactly how it should be.
 

3. Britney Spears: Did you see her at the VMA awards? No, well you didn’t miss anything. But in the future, we’ll need her. Because, otherwise, what else would we talk about over and over and over again?
 

4. Perez Hilton: Who else will give us news about Britney Spears so that we can talk about her over and over and over again?
 

5. Steve Jobs: Might as well acknowledge that Apple will have taken over the world by then anyway. I have no doubt iPods will someday be able to cure cancer.
 

6. Heath Ledger: Too soon? While we are shooting DNA into space to eventually repopulate the earth, we might as well bring people back from the dead. Who needs Einstein? What we need is more Heath Ledger movies.
 

7. Judd Apatow: Life without laughter and penis jokes is no life at all.
 

8. Brad Pitt: Isn’t it obvious?
 

9. Oprah: The world will need her to tell us what we should like.
 

10. Jon Stewart: Colbert can’t cover all the news in the universe and run the new government alone.