According to Chapel Hill News, the number of break-ins in the Chapel Hill area has spiked over the past few weeks. The most recent victim of this dastardly crime wave was UNC sophomore Marek Jucovic, who had his 40-inch plasma television and two video game consoles stolen while he was in class. Ouch.

"The thieves know that the students have goodies," said [Police Chief Brian] Curran. "They know that every student's got a laptop. Most of them are going to have a game system. Many of them are going to have a plasma TV, and those are the things that they're going for."

What?! You mean student dorms are rife with valuable things to pilfer? News at 11.

Sarcasm aside - if I came home and found my laptop (with all my final assignments on it, no less) had gone missing, I would drop to my knees and weep like a baby. Frankly, I think anyone as materialistic as I am would. Leave my shiny things alone, thieves!

Consider this a fair warning, UNC students. Until the criminals are apprehended, bolt your doors and hide your game systems. Otherwise, you'll end up like poor, poor Marek.