Everyone knows Page Six is the highest form of journalism so we must take seriously a blind item in the New York Post this morning. The blurb asks “Which Olympic Champion smoked pot for the first time recently at a Michigan hotel? The stoned athlete broke the TVs in his room, but later bought exact replicas so he could replace them before anybody at the hotel was the wiser…”
 

Oh Michael Phelps, the hotel would probably have forgiven you for the broken TVs if you gave them one of your patented goofy grins.
 

As if the parts about an Olympic athlete people actually care to read about and the Michigan location weren’t enough of a clue, Gawker points to even more evidence. The Page Six piece featured a picture of Anderson Cooper, who famously just did a big interview with Phelps and has no connection to any of the other items. What else could he be doing there?
 

The only weird thing about the story is… since when does smoking pot make people go on a rampage? It would take some serious effort for someone high to get worked up enough to break not one but multiple televisions.
 

Still, Michael Phelps is not human, and thus he would probably not react to pot like a normal earthling.
 

On a side note, it’s been rumored that Phelps broke up with his girlfriend and nude model/cocktail waitress Caroline “Caz” Pal. The Olympian told Regis and Kelly he’s not seeing anyone. If Phelps let those boobs go, you know he must have been messed up on something.