Dorm Bathroom Etiqette 101

Dorm Bathroom Etiqette 101

Living in a dorm is pretty shitty overall, due to a large amount of reasons. One of those reasons being the fact that you have to share bathing room with about 20-30 people. The awfulness of this fact is greatly increased if you’re a guy. Guys are gross, disrespectful and lazy, therefore making the bathroom completely horrendous. It’s kind of terrible trying to get clean in the dirtiest place in the building. So here are some steps that can be taken in order to make you feel a tiny bit healthier:

 

1. Wear Some Sandals
This BLOWS my mind. Have you looked on the floor? That’s not water—it’s urine. I throw up in my mouth a little bit when I see a kid walk into the bathroom with bare feet. Get smart and cover your feet.

2. Flush
Come on. How hard is it? It’s a flick of the wrist or the lifting of a leg to push down a tiny lever. It takes more muscles to frown. And by the way, shouldn’t it be an instinct by now? You’ve been shitting for at least 18 years, and flushing since about 15. How is it not second nature to reach back and push down a lever? Or do you just want to see your shit floating? Do you think the other guys will really be impressed by anonymous shit floating around a toilet? Get real.

3. Just Put the Seat Up or Something
Most people may think that this rule only applies in a domestic setting when women are present. But guys still sit down to take dumps. Our butts still touch porcelain. It sucks when you really have to drop one and you have to take the time to nest the toilet so you won’t get random piss on your ass. Once again, putting the seat up is an easy, easy task and a little bit goes a long way.

4. The Toilets Are for the Pee
If you have to take a piss, use the toilet—and only the toilet. Don’t pee in the garbage can. Don’t pee on the floor. And don’t pee on in the shower. Please don’t. It’s tempting to branch out and see what it’s like pissing in different things, but it’s not worth it. It’s just plain gross.
 

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