I’ve just received word that someone has hacked the med.umich.dev server and is sending out spam e-mails to everyone on the list every thirty seconds with the subject line “Michelle Obama dying.” Uhhh, what?

The rest of the e-mail is blank, which is weird because normally spammers are trying to feed you links to buy "viajraa" pills or to help get money out of Nigeria. I guess this one is just being kind of a dick for no reason. And literally people are getting bombarded with these e-mails constantly now, it’s a virtual plague of locusts or something. So what’s the university’s response? Well, this e-mail from MSIS (Medical School Information Services) that was also accidentially sent to everyone has some bad news for you.

Hi Anna -

Unfortunately there is nothing we can do to stop the emails. The only thing we can
do is to help train your junk mail filters to they catch these types of email. Would
you like for us to walk you through doing that?

--
Erik Zempel
MSIS

Really, that’s it? You’re surrendering to the terrorists? God our tech department is ****ing lame. Yeah, I guess you can put e-mails coming from the med server in your spam filter, but it'll mess up your chances to receive future legit e-mails from them. Surely there’s some noble engineering student out there who knows how to save the campus from this tyranny. Come on nerds, this is your time to shine! Get out there and kick some digital ass!