Tiger Woods’s wife just won the lottery! And by lottery, I mean the “I want half, Tiger” sweepstakes.

According to The Sun, Tiger Woods will be forced to pay his soon-to-be ex-wife, Elin Nordegren, roughly $750 million in the largest celebrity divorce settlement of all-time.

Seven-hundred and fifty million dollars: Any attempt to wrap one’s head around this astronomically large figure will end in tears, especially once you realize that sum is more than your entire neighborhood’s combined lifetime income – times ten.

Say it with me, kids: prenuptial agreement.

Naturally, Elin, 30, will need some suggestions on what to do with her newfound wealth. So, we figured we’d lend her a helping hand.

Here are five, larger-than-life suggestions:

1. Purchase an island in Greece: To pay off their equally astronomical debt, Greece is selling hundreds of their smaller islands.
2. Pull a Joker: Remember that scene in the Dark Knight where the Joker burns hundreds of millions of dollars? Do that in front of Tiger’s house.
3. Create a clone of Tiger that is incapable of cheating: I’m sure it can’t cost a penny over $500 million.
4. Buy a Scrooge McDuck-styled money bin and a swim around in it: I hear it’s quite therapeutic for the soul -- and your back.
5. Donate it to a charity: I recommend the “Impoverished Bloggers of America” fund.

Call me, Elin. I'll be loyal.