How to Get a Bid at a Top Five Fraternity

Rushing a frat is much easier than rushing a sorority, mainly because it’s not some highly orchestrated parade where you have to tour each house regardless of how much most of them might suck. If this were the case for frats, it would take a month, since there are more houses than anyone even realizes. Alpha Sig? What the hell is that?

But anyways, everyone wants to know how to get into a “top” frat meaning you get to party with all the hottest sorority girls and get an inflated sense of self-worth while walking around campus among lowly tier-3 brothers and GDIs. How do you do it? The answer really isn’t as hard as you think.

Phi Psi

How to Look: Ralph Lauren Polos, except of course during tailgate, in which case you shouldn’t even be wearing a shirt at all. And you should be dancing on something high up.
How to Act: Don’t reference “The List” as a reason that you want to be in Phi Psi, and I know some of you former rushees have. I know it’s number one on last year’s list (might that change this year? Hmm), and has won every poll we’ve had so far this year, but you’re going to need to bring more to the table than “I want to be cool.”
Who You Were in High School: Athlete, possibly football, maybe something more mellow like soccer or basketball. A popular jock but not a jaw-droppingly stupid one.

SAE

How to Look: It’s still acceptable to wear aviators here, despite the rest of the world moving on. Try to emulate “Southern Frat” as much as possible with pastel polos and linen shorts. Also, don’t shave and be ****ing huge. Or prepare to start eating creatine for breakfast to getting ****ing huge.
How to Act: Call every other frat you can think of “pussies.” Talk about how you hooked up with "sluts" from Alpha Phi, Tri Delt and/or Kappa during welcome week.
Who You Were in High School: Defensive linebacker who stuffed the chess team into their lockers every day, but then were the principal’s nephew so you didn’t get in trouble.

Theta Chi

How to Look: New Yawk it up. Flat brim hats, (actually becoming standard at most of these frats now), sweatpants, oversized hoodies. Man jewelry like diamond earings sometimes acceptable.
How to Act: Like no one should **** with you. Not other frat bros, not random people walking by, not the police. Especially not the police. But watch those racial slurs.
Who You Were in High School: The chronic stoner who still managed to pull out a decent enough GPA to get into Michigan. Maybe played sports but most likely just street ball. Not a real big fan of “organization” or "going to class."

Pike

How to Look: Hyper-prep. Are they really still wearing Abercrombie over there? I joke about it, but seriously, it’s time to move on already. Puca shell necklaces anyone?
How to Act: Like you’re really just looking for a good chill group of guys that are active on campus and like to party. Because that’s exactly how Pike likes to think of themselves.
Who You Were in High School: Captain of some sports team, probably something like water polo because it requires you to shave your chest. Probably student government or any sort of leadership role where you get to act like you’re important.

AEPi

How to Look: Precariously perched Yankees hat, baggy, stained white T and sweatpants. Pretty much like you just rolled out of bed.
How to Act: Be sure to throw it out there that you’re Jewish, as AEPi is mostly made up of those of the Hebrew persuasion. Also act like you know all about the Jewish sororities (hint: ranking order is Theta, SDT then DPhiE last I checked).
Who You Were in High School: More of a regular joe than the rest of these houses. Probably some sort of athlete, not a superstar, but not a huge douche-machine either.

Well, that's all for now, but I’m sure I’ll be writing more about rush as time goes on. Remember, since I’m gone these days, I need your help to continue to make this site worth reading. Submit a tip about anything crazy I should know about or send me a facebook message. Ballin.