If I Had the Mythical "Vagina Dentata"

For anyone who has seen the movie Teeth, an indie horror/comedy written and directed by Mitchell Lichtenstein, the concept of the vagina dentata is not too foreign. For others, you have no idea where I am coming from, but I started to really think about the pros and cons of having teeth in the vagina and to be honest any college male or female should think about this at least once in the duration of their undergraduate study.

Here are the results:

Pros:

Great Conversation starter in Lectures
When you give the opposite sex a warning, it would be one they really have to heed.
An amusing way to bring eunuchs back into modern Western culture
A business based purely on penis removal
A spot on Oprah
A spot on the Today Show
A Definite Spoof on Saturday Night Live

Cons:

An unsatisfying love life
Blood stains
Uncomfortable gynecological experiences
Puberty would probably end in suicide

Except for suicide I don't see the cons outweighing the pros. Too bad I can't be a heroine with amazing vagina powers like the ability to chomp penises off.