Yes Jennifer Aniston is hot, but I hate her. I’m not exactly sure why, something about her just bothers me I can’t quite place. Well, thanks to her latest GQ interview, now I can.

On Angelina and Brad:

"The funny thing is, people don't realize we all go away to The Hamptons on the weekends," jokes Aniston. "That'd be hysterical: I've got Zahara on my hip, and Knox..."

Hahaha, yeah, you’re bitter. We get it. But don't you think it's time to STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS?

On John Mayer:

"Honestly, did not know much about him before I met him. I'd heard ... you know, uh 'Your Body' – that song. But what I can say is that I had no idea what an extraordinary musician he is. And it's just great to sit and be witness t that. It's kind of like, Whoa!"

“Your Body?” I’m pretty sure you can’t have two X chromosomes and not have heard of “Your Body is a Wonderland." Man, she’s really old huh? Which leads me to...

On being a cougar in her new movie (and in real life):

"It is so a comment on the sexual double standard, and what's been ironic is how hard it's been to get this movie made," she says. "Studios want it, but they are afraid of Middle America. They'd want to change it; they're saying, 'Oh, you can't do that, people just can't imagine you..."

"Look, I think all women on some level just want to rage against the machine," she says. "There are too many movies out there that don't empower women, movies in which their only way of being happy is finding a man. And you know, that's not my favorite theme."

So the only way to be happy, is to find a man, lose him to someone hotter and nicer, and rip on him because he’s happy with a family now? Awesome. I’ve totally just reimagined the next ten years of my life.