Got plans for Halloween yet?  You do now:

The Jerkus Circus!
Halloween Show
The skankiest, loveliest, funniest, bloodiest, brashest, sexiest, drunkest, sparkliest, grossest Halloween party in post-industrial New England! The Steamy Bohemians! All the King's Men! BellaMinx Burly-Q! The Naked Comedian (come out at LEAST to see the smallest penis EVER)!!
Friday, Spooktober 31st
Ralph's Diner (148 Grove Street, Worcester)
9:30pm: $10 at the door (cheap! worth it!)

You can pick up the current issue of Campus Connection magazine (free at various locations all over campus) to learn more about the Providence Burlesque scene, but, really all you need to know is this:  There will be booze.  There will be boobs.  You only have to fork over $10.  What else do you need to know?

Seriously, we adults and semi-adults need to reclaim this holiday.  Screw trick or treating, Halloween is all about sexy costumes, reclaiming the evil within, and drinking.  Celebrate your dark side this season, whether that means dressing up like a Wiccan chick, painting fake blood on your face, or, if you know what's good for you (beer and booze, duh!), catch a ride to Ralph's Diner Friday night.  You know that nothing on campus will be as awesome as this event, right?  Okay, fine, you know some of the frat boys will be desecrating statues this weekend, and there will definitely be urine involved, but do you really want to support that?  Nah! 

You might enjoy making fun of the RISD kids as much as the next guy, but you gotta give 'em props for having the best Halloween costumes around.  If you can't make it to the Jerkus Circus, do yourself a favor:  come up with a costume, and please don't buy a pre-fabricated one at a store... have you no imagination?  Get your costume and head downcity.  Find the wackiest RISD kids you can and FOLLOW THEM -- RISD knows what's up for Halloween, believe me.  Last year was a huge dance spectacular at Firehouse 13 and it was the best Halloween bash I've ever attended.