Hi, my name is Paul Tassi and I’m Johnny Quest. Sadly, this will be the last post of mine you’ll be reading. I knew I’d have to write this someday, but I didn’t think it would be this soon. Why the sudden reveal and retirement? Let me explain.

I work for The Michigan Daily, specifically, I’m the film editor there. Though no one on staff knew I operated this site, some time ago they started an investigation (along with the rest of campus) to figure out who I might be. They succeeded.

I’ve trusted only a select few people to keep my secret these past months, and I’m happy to say none of them let me down. One perceptive commenter once remarked, “Johnny, pride will be your downfall.” They were right; I was caught eventually because of my own carelessness, with a little bit of bad luck thrown in.

The Daily article is set to run tomorrow as they said they can’t stop writing it just because they found out I’m on staff, which I understand. Now many of you may ask, “Why will you stop writing now? Are you scared now that your identity is out?” The answer is no. I would love nothing more than to keep writing as Johnny Quest. Sure some of the mystique might be faded, but I love what I do here on OTR. It’s total creative freedom. Unfortunately, authorities at the Daily have said I cannot continue to work at both publications, and that I must make a choice.

Their position is that when people find out I’m employed by the Daily they may interpret things I’ve said that some might think are racist, sexist or anti-Greek as being the viewpoint of the Michigan Daily. I won’t even address the racist and sexist concerns as anyone who reads my site clearly knows I speak almost entirely in sarcasm and I’d like to maintain that I’ve never been anti-Greek, only anti-douche.

This is an extremely difficult choice to make, but I have to pick the Daily. Although I firmly believe that any sane person would realize that the things I say on the site are in no way correlated with the Daily’s views on anything, I understand I’ve put my editors in a tough position. For every 999 people that laugh it only takes one to be offended, and unfortunately it’s that one person the Daily has be concerned with, something I never had to worry about as Johnny Quest.

So who am I? As it turns out, I’m just a normal guy. I’m not some engineering nerd with crippling social phobia, I’m not some frat brother with a hidden agenda of self-promotion and I’m not some creepy stalker psychopath. I’m just a guy who had thoughts and opinions and decided to write them down to see if anyone else agreed. I guess a lot of you did.

As for life now? Well, secret’s out and honestly I have no idea what the reaction is going to be. My friends have expressed concern for my safety, but I have to say I’m not worried. Even fraternities I’ve made fun of relentlessly have contacted me saying that they like my site. I believe that anyone remotely cool will be able to laugh at the stereotypes of their own house if they can laugh at the stereotypes of the others.

However, if you do have a serious problem with me and don’t realize I’ve done all this in good fun, feel free to talk all the trash you want. Lord knows I have it coming. But if you think about doing something stupid, I recommend you think about your own safety and the safety of any organization you might be affiliated with.

I am not Greek, to end that debate, but I have enjoyed exploring the system and giving you guys (and girls, especially the girls) a place to talk trash to each other. It’s been very amusing as any negative insinuations I made paled in comparison to the venom found in the comments. I know I may have facilitated this, but I had no idea people would take things like arbitrary rankings so seriously. The revelation of my identity might get me blacklisted from a few frat parties and sorority formals, but I’m alright with that. I’m a senior, it’s almost time to go, all of that’s behind me now anyways.

I think campus needs a news source that doesn’t have to be 100% politically correct and can distribute opinions without fear of retribution. As I leave I place the burden entirely on my co-editor AHor’s shoulders, which is a lot to ask. I encourage any of you who like what I’ve done here to apply to write for OTR yourself and fill the void I’ve left open.

Lastly, I’d like to thank you all for reading. A thousand hits on a freshman celebrity twin, two thousand on a bunch of tall blondes, eight thousand on a simple list. You guys have been great. Not a day has gone by recently without my friends telling they heard someone talking about the site, and it’s really through your word-of-mouth anyone read my stuff at all. It couldn’t have happened without you.

So, as sad as I am to say it, this is goodbye from Johnny Quest. It was a great ride while it lasted. See you on campus.