Here’s a suspiciously short story from the AP:

Los Angeles police say a security guard at a Scientology building shot and killed a man wielding a sword.

Officer April Harding says the man approached the guard in the parking lot of the Scientology Celebrity Centre International around noon Sunday.

Harding says the guard "felt threatened for his life" and fired at the man. He was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Homicide detectives have cordoned off the building in Hollywood to investigate.

Scientology spokespeople didn't immediately return messages Sunday.

Really? That’s all the details you can manage? I really think we need some more information on this kind of ridiculous story. Questions I want answered:

- Who was this man?
- Was he scientologist?
- Was he a samurai?
- Why do samurais hate Scientology? The same reasons everyone hates Scientology?
- Scientologist nests (I don’t know what else to call them) have armed security forces?
- Is there a pending samurai vs. Scientology war?
- Is there a website to sign up for said war?

- How perfect is the picture I used for this story?