MySpace Lying Lands University of Central Oklahoma Idiots a $300K Tax Bill

Posted by Johnny Quest 09/22/2008 10:29 PM

MySpace is great for a lot of things. New bands get to showcase their music, models and actresses get noticed, and older men get to hit on underage girls with pretty much zero repercussions. But besides these staples of the site, MySpace can be creatively employed by others to suit their own means. In the case of the five men behind “Kegheadz,” a party-throwing business enterprise, it was a means to proudly promote their not-officially-licensed-or-paying-taxes operation. The only problem? The government has MySpace too.

It shouldn’t have been a big deal, the guys, all University of Central Oklahoma students or alumni, only ended up throwing 22 parties, taking in a minuscule $1,700 for their efforts from 2006-2007. The back taxes on that would’ve only been a few hundred or so, but unfortunately, the boys decided that the internet might be a good place to put a little boost in their party-planning resume.

They threw up stats on the site to make them sound more “legitimate” than they actually were. Claiming they threw over a hundred parties with over six hundred guests per party, when the Oklahoma Tax Commission decided to sit down and actually do the math, they calculated a pre-tax income of over $900K from drink sales. And how much are the takes on $900,000? Try $300,000.

When the founding fathers of Kegheadz were contacted, they flipped out, seeing as they didn’t even have a $6,000 for an attorney, much less $300K. But never fear, the boys aren’t losing hope, as they’ve just posted this official statement on their MySpace page in official caps lock font:

PEOPLE...OUR FIGHT AGAINST THE TAX COMMISSION'S UNFAIR CASE AGAINST US HAS HIT A NEW MILESTONE...ASSOCIATED PRESS PICKED UP ON OUR STORY AND IT HAS GONE NATIONWIDE...ALL WE HOPE IS THAT SOME KICK ASS LAWYER FROM AROUND HERE STEPS IN AND OFFER US SOME PRO BONO HELP...WE NEED IT BADLY...WE LOVE YOU...THANKS TO EVERYONE THAT CAME OUT TO ALL OUR PARTIES AND HAD A DAMN GOOD TIME....

Now I’m not exactly a law expert, but if every douchebag who over inflated their salary to get a date was taken to court for it, I doubt we’d have many corporate jobs left filled in America. And if you ever wondered what $300,000 worth of partying actually looks like? They’ve helpfully embedded a video slideshow of their “colossal bashes.” Eh, only looks like about $132,500 worth of partying to me.