New Harry Potter Book, "Tales of the Beetle Bard" Drops Tomorrow Worldwide

Do books “drop”? I’m not sure. Anyways, what is sure to be a #1 best seller for a good month or two, J.K. Rowling’s collection of Harry Potter fables “Tales of the Beetle Bard” is hitting stores tomorrow. The book has almost nothing to do with the Potter series itself, besides sharing a common fictional universe. The five stories in the book are “The Tale of the Three Brothers,” “The Fountain of Fair Fortune,” “The Warlock’s Hairy Heart,” “The Wizard and the Hopping Pot” and “Babbitty Rabbitty and Her Cackling Stump." That last one sounds like a classic.

So will this be any good? Who cares, it’ll sell like hotcakes. This is like if George Lucas produced a fifteen minute short about a family of Wookies arguing about which types of bowcasters are the best. It would probably be completely useless, but you can be damn sure it would be viewed by millions within forty eight hours.

And yes, I'm getting it.

I swear this thing better not cost like 28 bucks.