Depending on the classes you take, getting your semester grades can either be a simple, one-day affair or a harrowing struggle through What the Hell Happened to My Professors Land.

What I mean is, some lucky students checked their transcripts one day after their final exams and, what do ya know, there were their grades. Others of us received one prompt grade and have been waiting for the past few weeks wondering if we ever actually took our other classes this past fall, because according to the transcripts, we didn’t

To be honest, it’s not the actual grades that I’m curious about – whether I got an A, B, C, or D, at this point, I’m just wondering if my professors and T.A.s are alive. So I’ve thought of some possibilities as to what might make our teachers take three weeks to grade a scantron:

1.) They Lost The Tests
This would seriously blow, but at this point they can’t really make us come in and retake the tests that they left in a public bathroom stall or at the counter at Greek Lady. Oh, well.

2.) The Scantron Machine Broke
…Forcing them to painstakingly check each bubbled-in letter by hand. If this is the case, then I actually feel really bad for them. So, uh, sorry for being so peeved?

3.) They Can’t Read Our Handwriting
This is also a relatively valid explanation. Despite my usually-neat handwriting, I’ve witnessed my own chicken scrawl/caveman scribble hybrid that comes out when I’m ferociously trying to write five essays in two hours.

4.) They’re Lazy
So let’s go, people – we want our freakin’ grades!