He walks up to the podium, and just says "F*** this. It's all downhill after college."

Who wouldn't want an honest speaker at their graduation? Whether it be a someone who made their first million at 16, or just another pretty celebrity, graduation speakers often say the same things. Everyone knows the "Sunscreen Song," but don't you want something a little more honest?

Imagine if Tom Wolfe came to Duke, after having written a rather critical novel on the place, the book: "I am Charlotte Simmons;" wouldn't it be more useful to know an honest representation of where you are, with a denigration of fraternity culture and sorority sassiness, an truthful portrayal of life at the University, while at the same time receiving a fresh clean outlook: life gets a lot harder post-graduation.

Maybe the fairy-dust sprinkled speeches about the merits of hard-work and determination are needed for the emotional ending to the "Best Years Of Our Lives," but I just wish people could speak the truth at important occasions once in a while, life the first day of the rest of our lives.