I am pretty much broke heading into the holiday season…as I imagine any normal student is…so I haven’t really been able to afford to see many movies lately. (Mom, Dad…gift cards please) SO…due to this, I have been forced to look back in time and review a film that I saw several weeks ago, around the same time that I saw Quantum of Solace.

The film…Role Models. The newest addition to the “Frat Pack” empire. This movie not only struck my humor side, but tapped my sexual innards quite effectively also. Starring Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott and two somewhat newcomers to the big screen, Christopher Mintz-Plasse (of McLovin’ fame) and Bobb'e J. Thompson who has recently played a role in “30 Rock”; and Directed by David Wain, known for his cult classic “Wet Hot American Summer”, and web series “Wainy Days”. This core cast and interesting characters, unique director, and a storyline that hasn’t really been done before, really gave this film a certain “I don’t know what”.

As the characters develop, we see Augie (Mintz-Plasse), evolve from a solitary nerd, to a role-playing, KISS Kostumed, Princess Loving Hero, while Ronnie (Thompson) develops from a foul mouth little bastard, into a foul mouth little bastard…with a hot mom. I’d get foul ALL over that.

At the same time, we see our two “role models” (get it?) develop: Danny (Rudd) goes from hating life, hating his best friend, and losing his girlfriend to singing in public, rekindling his friendship, and wooing his woman back (cliché), while Wheeler (Scott) goes from whacky, lady lovin’, no holds barred good times kinda guy, to …basically the same thing…plus he got to ALMOST hook up with a sexy volunteer in the woods…hoo ha! **NOTE : This is where the sexy comes in**.

The Sexy. Ok…so yea, great story line, fun times, laughed a lot…but while in the theatre, I also had points in the movie where if there had been a fire drill…I would have sat and burned rather than show the crowd the half staff sitting between my legs. Call me crude, but seeing nip in the bush…it just does it for me, and if you see the movie…you get a taste…as does Ronnie…lucky little brat.

So all in all, this movie was FANTASTIC. I felt it was well worth the $10.50 I earned by selling my blood on the black market, and I think you would too. In general, I think I would meet this movie at a bar. Get a few drinks in her so she finds me FAR more attractive than I am, be a little overly aggressive, maybe a bit of a douche, then take her back to my place. By my place I mean the back of my mobile mammography van. Since I know she’s big into roll playing and KISS, first I’d do a little playing about. Me as the male porn star, her as the female, reenacting my favorite scene from Who’s The Boss (the X rated version). Then comes the good ole Danza Slap. From there, if she is still conscious, I’ll treat her to the Gene Simmons, and finish off the night with a touch of a Knight Cap…to reiterate my douchiness.

Danza Slap : 1. The signature move of Mr. Tony Danza during his days as a adult film star. 2. The act of role playing, the male playing Tony Danza, and the female playing…well…some chick. As she is on her knees finishing the deed, look her in the eye and say “Who’s the boss”. The female, obviously being true to you will most assuredly say “You are”. At which time you forcefully slap your unit across her face shouting “NO BITCH, Tony Danza!”

Gene Simmons: 1. Lead singer of the band KISS who has an extremely long tongue, and previously a school teacher. 2. The use of one’s tongue for EXTREMELY deep oral pleasure…to the max.

Knight Cap : 1. NIGHT Cap refers to a drink one would imbibe prior to taking to their sleeping quarters, or a drink given to a lady with a rufie in it to prevent her from leaving for the night. 2. Almost like the Danza Slap, but for the night’s finale, in an attempt to leave a mushroom stamp shape on the individual (male or female)’s face…as a Royal Crest of their Knighthood.

I Give this move 5 fingers and a DP