Remember Sex: How to Avoid Snotty Liberal Bias the Tucker Carlson Way

Today Tucker Carlson illustrated to Daily Beast readers why he’s still relevant, despite the fact that any television show he hosts quickly plunges into the depths of where ratings go to die— and it’s not because of his perpetually amusing bowties! In fact, Mr. Carlson has provided a bit of revelatory common sense and even legitimately pointed out a bit of liberal bias, as opposed to the conspiracy theory liberal bias which conservatives like Sarah Palin prop up on a vaguely McCarthy-esque pedestal of paranoia and complain has mushroomed in the media.

So what is this sage logic? Carlson states that having sex is good, and that when religious people say that having sex is good, that doesn’t actually change the fact that sex is good. Essentially he reminds our snide, jaded, educated liberal selves that no matter how many evangelical psychopaths push us to the brink of voting for forced sterilization, sex is good. No matter how very much we want to beat the life out of any idea from the Christian Right, sometimes we’ve got to acknowledge that they’re correct.

Tucker Carlson writes:

Earlier this month, the Rev. Ed Young, a 47-year-old megachurch pastor in Texas, urged his married congregants to have sex as much as possible with their spouses, if possible, every day for a week. Sex improves marriage, Young argued. God wants you to have more of it. “If you've said, ‘I do,’ do it,” he told the Times.

 

The piece quickly became the newspaper’s most emailed story of the day, sent mostly, I suspect, by readers in New York, Washington and L.A. to their friends along with notes mocking Ed Young and his parishioners…

 

The evangelicals have a PR problem. Even when they say something self-evidently sensible, all a lot of people can think of is Ted Haggard. Which is a shame, because Ed Young may have come up with one of the best public policy proposals of the decade.

 

Once you factor out venereal diseases, there’s almost nothing better for you than regular sex. Judging from the many studies on the subject, a daily romp is healthier than yoga, a five-mile run and a handful of multivitamins combined. Sex has been shown to ameliorate memory, posture, depression, anxiety, insomnia, menstrual cramps, digestion, bladder control, dental health and the sense of smell.

 

It’s a natural analgesic that also reduces the risk of prostate cancer and heart disease. It lessens the incidence of colds and flu. It burns calories. Overall, according to a 1997 study in the British Medical Journal, men with the most active sex lives have a death rate half that of those with the least active. Sex prolongs life.

Admittedly, it may be difficult suppressing the sardonic condescension reflex set off as soon as a statement is made by an evangelical leader, but actually it is quite possible. The statements made by Reverend Young are a good way to start, since it gets difficult begrudging a reverend urging people to enjoy safe sex.

Just pull the reins on cynicism when you start considering the possibility of Young encouraging sex to produce a larger pool of evangelicals and remember what you know in your gut: sex is good, and no one can tarnish how much you value it. This way, you may even be able to fit it through your over-trained lefty brain if conservatives manage to present a reasonable policy for the economy, the Iraq War, or any of the other things we’re accustomed to seeing them screw up. And you’ll have a certain dapper young Mr. Carlson to thank for your bipartisan enlightenment.