Ripe Produce: Must Read Michigan Stories

We know you’re all out of school, but we’re going to attempt to keep you abreast on Michigan news this summer with a new feature. Similar to Fresh Cream, Ripe Produce will feature local UMich news that’s “ripe for the reading.” Here are six summer stories you must read.

* UMich knockout Lauren celebrates the first news about Lindsay Lohan that doesn’t involve alcohol, rehab or lesbianism in ages. Who knew the Michigan kiddies loved Firecrotch so much?

* An angry Michigan Man wrote into the Wolverine Liberation Army to voice his disgust over the new road jerseys. I don’t know what’s worse – the jerseys or the fact he considers Obama running for president one of the things “wrong with this unholy world”…

* MLive.com reports Paula Allen-Meares, the current UMich School of Social Work dean, is bailing out to become the new chancellor of the University of Illinois. Traitor!

* Michigan epidemiologist Briana Mezuk confirmed that diabetes leads to depression. Wait, you mean to tell me that being diagnosed with a disease is depressing news? Shock and awe!

* Preliminary fall admission figures have shown that Proposal 2, which bars the University from considering the ethnicity of its applicants, has caused only a 2.3% drop in minority enrollment.

* UMich has finally severed all ties with Pluto Press, the publisher of last year’s controversial book Overcoming Zionism that called Israel a “mistake.”