Once upon a time, a guy and a girl had sex. The girl had herpes and didn’t tell the guy, so he got mad and put her name and face on the internet. And so the STD website was born.

The man is Oregon resident Cyrus Sullivan, and his new website is garnering a lot of controversy in the area. The plan is to make a database of people with STDs, with all their info posted online. So far, only six people are on the site (including probably the most pissed off ex EVER), but everyone else on the site are celebrities and porn stars that he’s looked up on Wikipedia. Oh Pam Anderson has Hepatitis C? I’ll be sure to remember that the next time she asks to have sex with me.

The real problem is that what if someone goes up on the site who doesn’t have an STD. If you’re kind of whorish, you may not know who gave you something, and posting a guess online might tarnish someone’s Google search forever.

So Cyrus Sullivan, I’d consider re-thinking your STD website, because now, shouldn’t you be on it? I’ve heard a rumor you have herpes.