There is nothing more American than slamming back a cold brew with your closest flag-waving, anthem-singing, gun-toting buddies on the Fourth of July.

This holiday, taste freedom in your mouth with not one, but two American-made beverages that will make your blood glow red, white and blue with a single can: Pabst Blue Ribbon and Ol’ Glory.

PBR is a student favorite, because, well, it’s super inexpensive, making it perfect for beer pong and other equally patriotic drinking games. But, have you and your friends ever wondered why it tastes like warm, foamy cat urine?

Here’s why:

That’s right; that bitter sensation in your mouth is actually liquid freedom – or, as this patriot explained, taste of George Washington fighting the British in your throat. It can’t get more patriotic than this, right?

Wrong.

Introducing Ol’ Glory, an energy drink brewed from the bitter tears of freedom-hating Al-Qaeda operatives.*

One look at the fine American craftsmanship on the can will make your eyes swell with pride. The only way this could be more patriotic is if ol’ George Washington himself made it, which, as it turns out, he did.**

But, don’t just take my word for it. Check out this in-depth analysis for the full scoop:

There you have it: the two most patriotic drinks in the United States.

God Bless, America.

*Not actually made from human tears.

**Someone named 'George Washington' may or may not have worked at the company at some point.