How To Do a Traditional Keg Stand

Keg stands are an important staple of the college experience, and they can, in fact, influence your social standing amongst your peers.

Pulling a keg stand off successfully nets you plenty of “street” credit, but failing one often leads to your ridicule and a major migraine.

And so, it’s in your best interest to play it safe. Don’t show off by trying to keg stand and juggle, because it will end in disaster—much like these others:

Solo One-Handed Keg Stand:

Always use two hands. Everybody knows that!

The “I DON’T Gotcha Back” Bros:

Make sure the people supporting you during a keg stand don’t have noodle arms. Seriously, there were three guys holding him, and yet, he ended up in a face-plant.

The Two-Person Keg Stand:

Sorry, but keg standing is a one-man sport, even if you line up two kegs next to each other.

Keg Stand Ironing:

Note: The art of keg standing does not translate well to other aspects of everyday living. For example, don’t try to keg stand while brushing your teeth; it won’t end well.

The Inverse Keg Stand:

No, no, NO! Kegs are heavy. If he had hit someone in the head with it, they probably would’ve died. Let’s not deviate from the tried-and-true tradition, guys.

The Mini-Keg Stand:

Not only is keg standing with a mini-keg damned near impossible, it also makes you look like a girly man. Stick to real kegs, and avoid the junior high school ones, pansy.

The Overweight Keg Stand:

Maybe I’m being mean, but people over 300lb should never, ever be allowed to keg stand – if only for the sake of those unfortunate enough to have to hold him/her.