Lisa Horne is a Senior Writer for Bleacher Report where this post was originally published.

Most of ya'll have been here awhile and understand the lingo that bleacher creatures use. Some of them are common, but some football fans need a little help in deciphering the more intricate vocabulary of football.

Here is the first official Bleacher Creature Football for Dummies, vol. 1.

Kicker: the guy on the team who couldn't make the soccer team. Also know as a head case.

Wide Receiver: The guy who makes wimpy blocks, catches the balls he shouldn't and drops the ones he should. Future NFL analyst who has no taste in clothing.

Quarterback: A player who gets all the chicks, no matter how ugly he is. The guy who always breaks the finger on his throwing hand.

Running back: The runner who the fullback makes look good with tremendous blocks.

Safety: the guy who everybody blames when a wide receiver makes one of those catches he shouldn't have made.

Linebacker: a defensive player who is legally allowed to kill people on the field.

Spread formation: unstoppable. Also what desperate housewives do to get their husbands away from the TV during football season.

WCO: West Coast Offense, an offensive scheme that involves short, precise passes usually based on timing or under routes. Used in a lot in two minute drills against the prevent.

Prevent: The defensive formation of three down linemen, and the rest covering the long ball- a D that will prevent you from winning the game because the O will be running a WCO.

Stacking the box: When your DBs and safety join the linebackers in the box area behind the line for a party to see who can tear the running back from limb-to-limb first. What quarterbacks love to see when they have called a fly route in the huddle.

Punt: failure.

Interception: what DB's do to embarrass quarterbacks they can't sack on a blitz.

Flea-flicker: A trick passing play that will cause the coach to either look brilliant or stupid, depending on whether or not the receiver makes a catch he shouldn't. Potential bench-warming duties for the safety.

Sweep: a running play where the running back runs 10 yards to gain 2 yards.

Reverse: A trick play that rarely works, except in the WAC.

Double-reverse: the play that usually precedes a punt.

Statue of Liberty: a trick play that never works unless you are playing a high school varsity team or Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl.

Blast: a boring running play that results in a massive collision at the line of scrimmage and a few torn ACL's.

Off-tackle: a fancy word for a diagonal blast.

Cheerleaders: what fans look at when a team runs a lot of blast plays.

Yell leaders: those boring guys your mom wants you to date. Future insurance salesman or accountant.

Mascots: a way to contain a drunk student in a plush costume so he can't do any damage in the stands.

Sportscaster: a former football player or coach who can't get a real job in the real world. A place where Ticonderoga pencil salesmen go when they can't unload their stash.

Analyst: a fancy name for someone who doesn't know shit but gets paid a bunch to be right 50% of the time. A professional guesser.

"Not so fast, my friend": loose translation means "you're an idiot."

Defensive Coordinator: an assistant coach who gets blamed for a 59-0 rout.

Offensive Coordinator: an assistant coach who gets promoted for a 59-0 rout.

Marching Band: a place where having zits is a prerequisite for membership.

Penalty: What Pac-10 refs call to make sure a non Pac-10 team loses. Also known as a flag, hankie or bullshit

Zebras: The three blind mice on the field who referee the game.

Time Management: a nice way to say the coach can't add or subtract 20 or 30 seconds at a time.

Out-schemed: a nice way to say a coach can't coach against inferior teams. Derivatives: schooled, embarrassed or beat down.

Touchdown: something Florida International has finally experienced this year.

NCAA: another word for Big Brother.

Freeze the kicker: A way to use all of your timeouts so when you lose the game, you won't be blamed for not using all of your timeouts. A way to give Dr. Phil more cred than he deserves.

Onside kick: a play that never turns out good for the team you are rooting for. Never.

Half-time: a 30 minute rest sponsored by breweries. Also, the only time the tuba player gets some exercise.

FCS: Football Cupcake Schedule

FBS: Football Beef Schedule

BCS: Bowl n' Cash for Schools.

Check out the original post here, or look for more college football stories over at Bleacher Report.