Teenage girls everywhere will surely be heartbroken that their already favorite movie has a 36% on Rotten Tomatoes. Just kidding, no they won’t, they’ll still all flock to see it this weekend and proclaim it the greatest thing since David Archuleta. But just for fun, let’s see what the reviews of Twilight are saying:

Newsday - With its vapor-thin plot and goofy gimmicks (game of vampire baseball, anyone?), Twilight seems best left to its impressionable teenage fans.

 

Boxoffice Magazine - Stewart, in particular, delivers her lines as if simultaneously confused and half asleep. At least Pattinson gives emoting a shot but in the end he doesn't fare much better either.

 

AP - There's nothing transporting about the visuals. Twilight was a famously low-budget production compared to most traditional blockbusters, but this is ridiculous.

 

Metromix - The term 'meh' was added to the dictionary this week, and just in time.

 

Variety - A disappointingly anemic tale of forbidden love that should satiate the pre-converted but will bewilder and underwhelm viewers who haven't devoured Stephenie Meyer's bestselling juvie chick-lit franchise.

 

EDGE - Put simply, it lacks fangs.

 

But the one I’m sure everyone will listen to is:

 

Time - It rekindles the warmth of great Hollywood romances, where foreplay was the climax and a kiss was never just a kiss.

 

Oh Time, always a pushover.