* It was a wild week for Michigan, starting on Saturday morning when L. Ron Hubbard reported that the Delta Upsilon house had burnt down. Thankfully no one was injured in the fire, but most students were too busy wishing other houses had gone up in flames to care.

“It’s too bad SigEp can’t burn down their house again.”

“I am really surprised PIKE hasn't burnt their house down yet.”

“What about SAE? How the hell has that house with those brothers lasted this long?!?”
 
With Johnny Quest retired from his OTR duties there was no authority on the discussion, but one student did offer the Delts some housing advice:
“Maybe they can move in with AGD across the street and make really ugly and fat babies.”


* Meanwhile, an anonymous Michigan junior submitted a 7-day log of his sexual escapades for OTR’s 2nd College Sex Diary. As Ann Arbor residents debated the legitimacy of his work (as well as his identity), out-of-towners suggested his female counterparts might be to blame for the constant wanker-whacking.

“Michigan girls are ugly,” someone wrote. The idea was quickly seconded by FuhQ2 from Ohio.

The OTR staff was more concerned about the young lad’s mental health (“The author of this diary is one sick individual,” Hector wrote), but other readers delighted in his authenticity. 

“If this is real then this guy is the hugest tool ever,” one fan wrote. “If not, I enjoyed the accurate portrayal of Michigan frat boys.”


* In strange, celebrity related news a woman named Sarah contacted us in a fury over a UNC post about American Gaydol Clay Aiken’s impending fatherhood.

“It's totally inappropriate,” she raged. “Implying that something is wrong with a 50 year old woman being pregnant or that Clay doesn't have a right to participate for a FRIEND in IVF is classless and wrong.”

Sarah, my dear, Clay Aiken impregnating anyone is questionable. 
And wrong.


* Hugh Hefner’s son generated almost 20,000 views as Playboy fans waggled about Marston’s college of choice.

“Like, I wanted to apply to Bard, but from what it said, it was really a granola school. Wesleyan is, like, academically rigorous,” Hef’s offspring mused.

As Wesleyanites applauded his thought (and English-speaking readers winced at the excessive use of “like”), a California-lover suggested the Bunny heir head west:

“Dude, just go to USC or UCLA, enjoy the good weather and the women and call it a day.”

Seems like a good call to us.


* Finally, MeganPant’s Nine Signs He’s a Frat Guy drew fierce controversy and plausible outrage. Dozens wrote in with hysterical insight on the Greek community.

“Megan Pants probably tried to get with a fraternity man and he turned her fat ugly ass down!” an offended reader fumed. “These guys [pictured] are just douche bags and probably have nothing to do with a fraternity.”

“Greek Life at Oregon?” another questioned. “I’d rather masturbate with sandpaper!”

“Maybe 'frat boys' have a bad stigma to them in Yankeeland, but here, we are simply those who represent class and who will soon be your boss,” a Southern gentleman informed the crowd

Over a few days most people settled on the idea that frats are for douchebags (“they are for socially inept people”), but the best comment of all came on Wednesday night from an over-sharing college alum: 

“I was in a frat in college. IT IS DOUCHEY! Yes, these are generalizations, but one of the major advantages of a frat is that is DOES help you get laid… I got laid A TON in college and a lot of it had to do with the frat I was in. The rest of it had to do with the fact that I'm good looking and have a big dick, but that's not the point.”

Riiiiiight. 
As for this editor, I’m just glad it was a post by Megan and not the supposed Greek-hater Astute Fem.

Until next week…