Tom Cruise may have gotten his big break back in 1981’s Endless Love, but he’s still a busy guy, and not just because of his responsibilities as a dad, a Scientologist superstar, and an actor-producer. Of late he’s been much in the public eye, and so we present This Week in Tom Cruise News. It rhymes.

1) Judge George Eskin issued a restraining order against Edward Van Tassel, an Iraq War veteran on December 10th after Van Tassel brandished a gun near a highway and attempted to deliver a letter by hand to Cruise at his home. The letter urged Cruise to use his publicity to help Iraq War veterans, rather than those L. Ron Hubbard followers.

2) It was reported that Cruise had lost his Blackberry in Toronto whilst promoting his new film Valkyrie, which will be released December 25th since nothing says Christmas like World War II.

3) Few would have predicted that Tropic Thunder would receive any Golden Globe nominations, but Mr. Cruise was nominated this week for a Best Supporting Actor award for his role in the comedy as an evil fat guy.

4) When inexplicably interviewed on MTV Canada’s The Hills After Show, Cruise was asked about the elopement of possibly the stupidest couple ever to storm reality television, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. Cruise gave Pratt some advice, saying, “If the girl wants the wedding… you’ve got to give the wedding. The girl wants a wedding. She’s going to remember it forever, and you’ve got to make it a special occasion. Spencer, dude, you’ll realize this later.” Tom, dude, good advice.

5) Showing off his psychic scientologist powers, Cruise told People magazine that he knew Brad Pitt was meant to be a father back when the two starred together in Interview with a Vampire and Cruise saw Pitt interact with his daughter Isabella.