You've suffered through three years of AP English and managed to score an acceptance letter from the college of your dreams. So, why do you constantly misuse the word peruse? Or say things like "for all intensive purposes"? Hell, you might even think that breast augmentation covers all types of boob surgery (hint: it doesn't).

Welcome to Word Usage 101...I'll be your professor, and by the end of this article I'll have beaten every last "alright" out of you. Break out your pencils and start taking notes, because soon you won't have any excuse for the painful misuse of the following words and phrases:

Alright: Dude, come on. This word doesn't even exist. To quote The American Heritage Dictionary, "it's not all right to use alright."

Peruse: You probably think that peruse means to lightly glance over or skim. If so, you're an idiot. It really means the opposite, "to survey or examine in detail." 

Discrete/Discreet: You seem like a Craigslist Casual Encounters kind of guy. Do you post several times a week looking for booty? (It's okay, I'm not here to judge.) If so, you're definitely going to want to know the difference between discreet and discrete.

Discreet is an adjective that means prudent, circumspect, or modest: “Her discreet handling of the touchy situation put him at ease.” Discrete is an adjective that means separate or individually distinct: “Each company in the conglomerate operates as a discrete entity.”

Augmentation: This is a word that I hear misused all the time. People commonly refer to any elective breast surgery as "breast augmentation," regardless of whether the ta-tas were lifted, reduced or actually enlarged. In fact, to augment exclusively means to enlarge. 

For All Intensive Purposes: Seriously? Surely, you jest. It's supposed to be for all intents and purposes, and I'll kick your ass if you try to argue with me on this one.

Few/Less: Here's a good way to remember the difference between few and less: can you count what it is that you're talking about? Then it's few. If not, then it's water. There are fewer people in the room than there were a minute ago, so less booze is being consumed.

Penultimate: No, this doesn't mean "ultimate" or "absolute last". In fact, it means next to last. As in, this is the penultimate word or phrase on this list.

I Could Care Less: This one kills me, it really does. If you think about it for a second, there's absolutely no reason to misuse it, either. If you can care less, then you must care at least a little. If you couldn't care less, you absolutely do not care at all. If you find yourself having trouble with this phrase, perhaps you should either check into a remedial course at your local Learning Annex or stick to the standard "I don't care" response.