Every man fantasizes about a day in which they can freely engage in sex with multiple women at once. On December 21st, that hedonistic dream almost became a reality thanks to the Raelians, an alien-centered religious group that aspired to protest armed conflict by organizing the world’s largest orgy in Tel-Aviv.

Sadly, World Orgasm Day, also known as the “Greatest Holiday Ever,” was canceled after organizers received countless threats from the prudes of the world, who undoubtedly cringed at the thought of a group orgy.

Of course, the Raelians, who believe mankind was placed on Earth by an alien civilization centuries ago, aren’t taking this one lying down (pun intended). And so, they’re firing back with a crusade against Santa Claus.

From a press release on their official site:

The International Raelian Movement plans to launch an anti-Santa Claus campaign with a dedicated Web site and the distribution of stickers announcing “There is no Santa!”

[…] “People forget that the original celebrations at this time of year weren’t even Christian,” he said. “Ancient Romans knew them as Saturnalia, wonderful pagan events at which people partied and had fun by dancing in the nude and really letting loose.

[…] Raelians around the world exchanged “Merry Saturnalia” wishes yesterday.

I know what you’re thinking: Naked Christmas is better than Clothed Christmas.

While that’s probably true, are you willing to be alienated (pun also intended) by your friends and family for the sake of a little boobie action?
 

Ah, who am I kidding? I'm sure most of you are.