5-Word Review: Indiana Jones

Posted by Lacy Hart 05/27/2008 12:28 PM

Tags: indiana jones and the kingdom of the crystal skull, indiana jones review, fiveword review, summer movies

Whip lacks crack. Needs retirement.

Final Thoughts: I loved the Indiana Jones trilogy, but the fourth installment shows why some franchises are better left dead. What happened to you, George Lucas?! First, you ruined Star Wars. Now, you’ve done the same to dear old Indy.

Maybe I’m being too harsh. After all, as a mindless popcorn flick, Indy 4 delivers. However, the premise and story are so over-the-top and so far removed from the previous films that I can’t honestly consider it anything other than hilariously bad. Wait until you see the "monkey" scene. Really? Really?!

If you do watch it, do so for the action and random funny bits. Just don’t expect it to live up to the old flicks.

Comments

Anonymous says,

While i value your opinion on this subject...kind of, I truly believe that you have forgoten the original trilogy and lost touch with the true heart of Indiana Jones. These movies are campy and over the top and that is why we love them. The opening sequence of the movie was amazing, keeping right up with the originals. Especially how the paramount mountain turns into a real moutain (or in this case a hill). As for the monkeys, yes a little over the top, but hilarious. If anyone tainted the movie i have to agree with you that it was Lucas. You could see his grubby little sci fi finger prints all over it, but i dont thik they ruined the film. Distracted maybe, detracted, no. The performances were great, I could watch Mr. Ford play that role in another 3 movies. I am glad he snatched his hat back from Shia as i could not see the kid from "Even Stevens" carrying on the next legacy of the franchise.
The Three best moments of the film
1: When he picks up his hat and the music starts.
2: The car chase around Yale. Yes it was filmed at Yale.
3: The quote "Gold wasn't their treasure, It was Knowledge, Knowledge was their treasure"

In closing, since when was Indiana Jones not a Popcorn Flick? If you wanted your life to be changed and your heart strings to be tugged may i suggest an amazing movie from Denmark called "After The Wedding", but if you want to have a good time at the theatre and see Indy as an old man, still kicking ass and taking numbers, then you will enjoy Crystal Skull. Any TRUE fans of the franchise will enjoy this movie, faults and all (thats right, faults, im not saying its perfct, but its pretty damn good). Posted 05/27/2008 12:44 PMReply

Lacy Hart says,

@ Anonymous: Frankly, I think you're off your crocker. The original films were campy, yes, but not so goddam cheesy. Wow, the cheese-level in this one was beyond tolerable. Posted 05/27/2008 12:53 PMReply

Anonymous says,

First off the saying is "Off your rocker". Secondly, i do not see how this one was any more cheesy than the originals. If you dont agree in the subject matter that is fine. Aliens, yes a little far fetched for a plot. But when i found out that the Crystal Skull is a real theory i was suddenly fine with it. I was able enjoy the movie for what it was, a great chapter in the Indiana Jones story. Plus you have to give Mr. Ford a round of applause. He rocked the house. He did most of his own stunts, and considering his twin brother, Henry, died in 1947, thats pretty amazing. Posted 05/27/2008 1:09 PMReply

Anonymous says,

This one was TERRIBLE!!!! In no way was it good. Posted 05/27/2008 4:43 PMReply

Anonymous says,

While initially I left the theater with a slightly bitter taste on my mouth, I'm liking the film more and more now. I mean, some things were ridiculous, but that was kind of the point. I loved the refridgerator scenes and the waterfall scenes (these will go down as some of the most memorable sequences in cinema). The rubber boat scene from ToD is no more realistic that the waterfall scene. The majority of the jungle chase was good. The ants, while CGI, felt like they belonged in the movie.

The motorcycle chase at Yale (and the scene right before it, in the 50s diner) felt the most old-school, I must say. I loved Shia in his role, but I was relieved that Indy snatched the hat away from him at the end. The aliens, at first I was a bit upset about this, but now, not so much. Even the UFO scene is okay for me to watch now.

The things I disliked the most about the movie were the CGI gophers and the monkey scene. Those had the name "Lucas" etched all over them, and they need to be cut from the DVD released. They did not make the film better in any way. Posted 05/28/2008 06:46 AMReply

Anonymous says,

This installment was very disappointing. The combination of a poor screenplay and overuse of CGI turned this film into a mess. In short: it was self-indulgent and completely devoid of any entertainment value. Sheesh. Posted 05/28/2008 07:12 AMReply

Anonymous says,

George... please stop ruining the really "good ole" action movies you did so well & get into something else. I don't acknowledge the "new" star wars. Try cashing in on something new... use your imagination & let these action classics rest so we can remember them without these LAME follow ups Move on. Posted 05/28/2008 11:53 AMReply

Anonymous says,

Loved Raiders and the last crusade. This one reminded me of an extra cheesy version of temple of doom but far worse. The fridge scene, the snake and quicksand, the monkeys swinging, Karen Allen not even a bit scard that her son was sword fighting a Russian and could die at any second, the waterfalls, etc. Everything seemed to be a joke in the movie. Posted 05/30/2008 09:35 AMReply

Anonymous says,

If Spielberg and Lucas were to make Raiders now instead of back then, we would have ended up with the same thing Indy 4 is now. I agree that the special effects were a bit over the top and that the story was a bit out there, but so were the last ones. In the first one, a guys face melted, and the new one just had more opportunity to use those special effects.
However, they have to make Indy 5 now to make up for this one. They have to add some realism to it and throw in classic moments instead of cheesey lines. Posted 06/02/2008 2:38 PMReply

Anonymous says,

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I have a love/hate relationship with Columbia and secretly hope to make it big as a hot urban DJ/bartender/model/florist/chef/all-purpose critic extraordinaire and then retire to a life of reality television and a dozen cats.