Sugar daddies have belonged to our social lexicon for years, but in an article written for the Daily Beast, college student Melissa Beech manages to make the women they screw seem even more superficial, spoiled, greedy, and deluded than harsh paradigms might predict.

First, Beech identifies herself as a Pennsylvanian Irish Catholic republican “blessed to have been raised with class, sent to the best schools, and taught to be well read, well spoken, and well traveled.” Evidently there’s nothing classier than spreading your legs for an older man who gives you money. Beech did not enter her relationship out of necessity. As she describes it, the relationship was begotten out of a consumerist addiction and an inability to muster the energy to wait tables:

When I got to college, I spent the first two years straining for financial independence. I tried working, but in retail, surrounded by temptation all day, I spent more than I made. Waiting tables was exhausting. I went on several job interviews, but all of the internships were unpaid… During my job hunt, I met a potential employer. He was in his early thirties, single and successful. He didn’t hire me, but he did suggest a position that seemed perfectly suited to my attributes and skills: he proposed that he become my benefactor. From the outside, a mutually beneficial, or sugar daddy, relationship seems immoral. Maybe even the distant cousin of—dare I say it?—prostitution. But truth be told, women have used their wiles and charms to get ahead for years.

So what exactly are these “attributes and skills?” Swimming in convenient sophistry to justify exchanging sex for a monthly allowance, gifts, and vacations such as their trip to Atlantic City when they stayed in “the poshest hotel in town?” And what is this position? Bending over? Beech goes on to glorify the relationship in terms of opportunity and professional advancement; essentially though her sugar daddy didn’t think she was competent enough to be his own intern, he hooked her up with some of his less picky contacts and bought her expensive stuff:

He didn’t hire me for the internship position, but because of him I have had several internships at well-known PR companies…He’s given me a chance to live the type of life that I never would have experienced on my own. We went to London and Paris last spring, where we saw the sights and shopped at stores like Chanel and Dior. How many other college students are wearing Christian Louboutins to class? Probably very few…and when our time together is through, I will part with a lifelong friend, a great career and a killer wardrobe.

While very few college students may wear Christian Louboutin shoes to class, very few get down on their knees to get them either. Then again, if Beech wants to blow for Berkin bags, that’s her hoo-ha to do with as she will.