In case you’ve been living in the same cave as Osama Bin Laden for the past few days, Lehman Brothers, one of the oldest global financial-services firm in the country, went bankrupt Monday morning, which sent the Stock Market into a downward spiral.

Hundreds of Lehman Brothers employees – many of whom graduated from an Ivy League university – were laid off in New York, and now, they’re all turning to Craigslist to find comfort in the arms of a stranger.

That’s right – there are now tons of depressed Ivy League graduates on Craigslist looking for sex partners to bang, sex parties to attend and women to dominate them.

Here are a couple of choice excerpts:

Was Laid Off from Lehman Brothers - Sex Party Time! - m4w
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Reply to: pers-842332814@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-09-15, 9:34PM EDT

Don't care! Life goes on. And what better to celebrate my new "vacation"
with a sex party my friend is running!!!

I can't for my cock to milked by all of those hot ladies there.

Open to other single ladies and couples only.

Milked? Seriously – are we in the third grade now?

Anyone want to help cheer up a Lehman employee? - m4w - 28 (SoHo)
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Reply to: pers-842407039@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-09-15, 10:40PM EDT

 

Haha, I know I know -- don't feel too sorry for me. Had a good long run and it's now over, and probably screwed up the economy for a lot of people.

But - I still could use some company and am looking to spend some time with someone who can keep me warm. I will have a lot of free time on my hands and still have plenty of money to burn. Maybe we could just lay around my tribeca loft all day enjoying each other?

Yes, you’ve screwed up my investments and retirement plans -- but no, we can’t “enjoy each other.”

OK, one more…

Lehman put me out of work, so I guess it's time to play ;-) - m4w - 28 (Financial District)
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Reply to: pers-844365320@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-09-17, 1:01PM EDT

 

Hello -
I moved from Spain to NY to work for Lehman. Now I am going to take some time to relax and finally see this city. ;-) I am set for money, have a nice apartment in Chelsea, and would love to start traveling more, eating out, etc. Is there an attractive woman out there who would like to join me? Around my age or younger. It doesn't matter if you are Spanish, I also speak excellent English, French, etc. I am good looking and tall and athletic. Let me know if you want to play with me!

Ah – looking for a tall woman, huh? Found one for you… 

Lehman & co got you down? Let this European beauty get you back up... - w4m - 28 (Manhattan)
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Reply to: pers-843316094@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-09-16, 4:26PM EDT

 

... and up!

European, 5'9", 130lbs, former dancer and model takes it upon herself to bring some good vibrations into your life this week.

Forget about the hard financial times and focus on sensual times... show me your "appreciation", and I shall put a million-dollar smile back on your face.

 

Don't wait...

Bingo! I do believe we have made a connection, proving once and for all that you can find love on the Internet.

As for the LB employees with S&M fetishes out there, be sure to give this gal a ring:

looking to take advantage - m4w - 39 (Financial District)
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Reply to: pers-842722010@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-09-16, 9:36AM EDT

 

of a pretty lehman or aig employee, feeling down on her luck and vulnerable, and out of a fit of depression, anger and fear is looking to engage in some risky, self-destructive sex with a complete stranger....:)

I'm sure that she's totally not a dude posing as a woman.

For the rest of the hilarity, go here.