It’s almost cute how Distilled Spirits Council President and former college prez Peter Cressy is pretending to try to do right by college students. Today, he offered super effective tips to the parents of college students on how to deter drinking, such as, “If your son or daughter is younger than 21, tell them you expect them to obey the law and not drink.” I hear this one works because fulfilling parental expectations is more fun for college students than all-you-can-eat buffets are for obese people. Another gem of wisdom: “Make sure they know you are there to support and help them through this transition period.” This one might actually get the job done if the “support” involves holding both hands, as it’s pretty difficult to reach for a Guinness in such a situation. Believe me, I’ve tried.