Pet Projects are again running rampant in Congress, but this time it looks like Cornell and all of the extensive grape eating community will benefit.  How so, you ask.  Well, it seems Congress will be sending $2.6 million (just a smidge over the cost of tuition) to Cornell for, drum roll please..................................... A GRAPE GENETICS RESEARCH CENTER!

Finally, our troubles are over!  Soon we'll know exacty what makes grapes so grapey and why wine is so much fun.  I suppose that might be everything we'll learn from this endeavor, actually.  What I really want them to research though, is why the grape flavor of anything is always the worst.  Grape Jollyranchers, grape popsicles, and basically anything purple.  Except grape soda.  God help you if you speak ill of grape soda.  I will hunt you down and the rivers will run purple with grapey refreshingness.

For those actualy concerned with "politics" (whatever those are!), this story is sorta important because the Democrats are still spending a lot of money on pet projects, which they sorta promised they wouldn't do.  While these expenditures are less than half of those set by Republicans in 2005, which included the always useful Bridge to Nowhere, they are significantly higher than the mark set just 10 years earlier.  This last paragraph was really fact-packed.  I might just be the best investigative journalist ever.
I copyrighted "fact-packed," by the way.