If the fall semester doesn't seem to be approaching fast, then you haven't been out on Green Street today. This is move-in week for fraternities and, more importantly, sororities on campus.

As a result, there are "whoreds" of girls filing out of Chipotle and Noodles & Co, each with identical shades of medium-blonde dyed hair. Ah, to be a male at the University of Illinois.

Keep in mind that the closer it gets to the weekend, the more crowded the Meijers and the Wal-Marts of the CU will be. Get furniture and groceries sooner rather than later, as it will be annoyingly crowded, stressful, and stripped of everything edible.

Nothing is worse than a line of 25 sorority girls on cell phones.