I've heard a number of stereotypes thrown around about the fine sisters of Delta Delta Delta and while I won't comment on their money, their sluttiness or their coke problems, I'll only focus on the facts I know to be true.

Let's state the obvious, show me five Tri Delts and four of them will be unbelievably hot. Anyone who says otherwise is just part of the jealous 95% of not hot girls that populate U of M. But it's not enough for them to be regular hot, they have to be proportioned like runway models. Giant Amazon runway models. I'm five eleven and I swear every time I meet a new one of them I'm staring at their belly button. It's ridiculous. I think they're some sort of half-successful genetic experiment to create a race of beautiful, intellegent super women.

Lastly, they're bitches. Most of the girls I've met are in their own little world where the only people who exist are themselves and let's say Theta Chi, Pike or SAE, depending on who's cool what week. Case in point? I swear this is true:

(at some house party)
Drunk Tri Delt: Hey, aren't you in Pike?
Johnny Quest: Mmm, nope sorry.
TD: Oh, uh okay...Oh hey Kimmie! (wanders away)
(forty-five minutes later)
Same Drunk Tri Delt: Hey, aren't you in Pike?
JQ: (stares at her incredulously) Yes, yes I am.
TD: My name's Katie! What pledge class are you?

It's not every day you meet someone so shallow that you can hear their brain scraping the bottom when they talk. Look I'm sorry, but until I see evidence to the contrary, I've got to call it like I see it. Any Tri Delts wishing to make amends, leave me a comment and I'll think of a way you can make it up to me.

Campus rep: 10/10
Bitch factor: 10/10