Rapper and convicted felon T.I., best known at Cornell for his on-stage shotgun sound effect (shotgun sound effect, shotgun sound-effect, shotgun sound-effect . . .) during Slope Day 2007, in which he offered a $20,000 "bounty" on that kid in the front row's head, has been arrested for owning--spoiler alert!--machine guns.

Whatever happens, let's remember the story of T.I.--no, of Clifford Harris, 27, of Atlanta, Georgia. He rose from humble beginnings to become one of the nation's most rhythmic criminals.

God bless a true "American Gangster" (in theatres November 2nd).